Was Depressed On Thursday

Yesterday I forgot to write any of my thoughts down but the were dark anyway. Depressed about Rick leaving and thought Danielle was upset with me. But she wasn't and wrote me an email so made me feel much better.

Rick and I finished making dinner last night it was yummy. Cliff and I was at odds but did not fight we were ok by bedtime. We watched the next to the last American Idol it was ok David Cook did the best of the three but he was even off.

Today is Friday and I'm really sad cause we take Rick to the airport tomorrow :((( we have to leave about 4 am yulk! Oh well I can sleep on the way back. Rick can sleep on the plane but my poor Cliff has to stay awake. Shame.

Mark is going to come over and let the dogs out so don't have to worry about them. I think Rick will miss the dogs no matter how much he complains about them lol. Sissy has been sleeping in his room for awhile now.

Rick came in to my room and we watched Stargate and Fresh Prince together. I'm really sad that he is leaving. I wish he could stay here and get a job. But they won't let him. I hope he finds happiness this time when he gets back.

Angie called last night, we talk about the baby and stuff. I wish I could be with her and she really wants me there. It's nice to be in a good relationship with her.

So I guess I will get something done today and talk later.

Rick Is Leaving In A Few Days

I'm really sad because Rick is leaving on the 17th. It's been a really good visit this time and I really will miss him. We're going to Burger King tonight so Cliff and Rick can pig out.

I'm going to take pictures tonight hope they don't mind. I should have been taking pictures all along but you know how it goes.

I'm worried about money today it's getting really bad things are so tight. We went out for Mother's Day the other night and spent over a £100 pounds ouch! But we had a great time. I drank the better part of a jug of margaritas and Rick and Cliff drank a lot of beer. The only one who got a buzz was Rick. We took a taxi home.

Well I guess that's all I have to talk about for now. So write more later.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not easy to archive there are many things that I have not forgiven but I want to . People have hurt me by word or deed some intentional, and others by carelessness,

I know that I have hurt people sometimes because they have hurt me or because I was thouthless or because I had no idea that what I've said or done was hurtful. To those people I ask their forgiveness and hope someday I have a chance to tell them.

I ask my children to forgive me for any and all the things I have ever said or done to hurt them. As a mother I hope that I would never do anything intentional to hurt them. I have loved them with all my heart and soul and have given my life to them in one way or another. I was very young when I had my children and I learned the hard way to take care of them. They were and always will be my life. I wish I would have done a better job of raising them by providing more for them and just being a better mom. But all my thoughts and actions was based on love and concern for them. I wish they would have learned to love God and pray that one day they will. I will continue to pray for them and ask God to fill their lives with love, joy, and peace.

Angela, Richard and David you were and always will be my first love and please don't forget me when I'm gone please think kindly of me when you remember.

If your having a hard time forgiving this is a great place to start http://www.wikihow.com/Forgive